SpokaneFixer

We’ve had really great pets. Charlotte the Pug. Toby the Cat. Rota the Australian Shepherd. Two miniature humanoid creatures. We love them all, even when they’re pests. Most of them were even invited to the show (Toby is a different story… for a future post).

But… sometimes we find a few uninvited pets roaming the premises. My wife and her family have an official family rule: you can’t shoot or kill anything that someone in the family gives a name. An implied, unspoken rule has also popped up over the years: I’m not allowed to name anything that has more than four legs… believe me, I’ve tried! She is particularly not fond of me naming creatures with eight legs, even when I’ve tried to justify giving them two names… math is fun. Apparently, she doesn’t believe in applying math in the real world, even when my math is flawless (we’ll see how much she wants me to apply flawless math when I build out her kitchen cabinets).

We’ve had our fair share of six and eight-legged creatures try to make their way into our hearts and home. This was especially true in the first year we were in our fixer-upper. As the house had sat abandoned for over a year with food in the pantry and on countertops, a savory smorgasbord awaited any creepy crawly willing to trek the trip to the feeding frenzy.

My wife shot down all of my naming ideas and was adamant that I fix these problem pe(s)ts. We hired a local exterminator, and that did the trick, i.e., appeased my wife. In the years following, I put down barrier products and did a pretty good job of keeping the house crawling only with those creatures meeting the maximum leg-count restriction. For the last two years, we’ve used a local company run by some of our favorite people, and, if you’re in the Spokane area, we highly recommend you use them, too. If your wife won’t let you name your uninvited guests, call Green Squirrel Lawn Care, today. They’ll keep your squirrels (as well as those special two-legged creatures in your life) very happy.

The Named

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Those Who Must Not Be Named

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Solution Options

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